Notes to Self I

- You are afraid of heights.
- Avoid jagger-bombs when out drinking with the coworkers.
- Do not shave in the morning. You are usually running late, which translates into an expedited shaving experience, which translates into bleeding face, which translates into shirt collar stained with blood.
- Women do not think it is funny when you answer “yes” upon being prompted whether they look fat.
- Pizza tastes its best when it is between 4:00 -5:00 in the AM and you are not sober.
- Drinking on Monday means Tuesdays will hurt.
- Eating an excessive amount of steak results in a meat hangover which is infinitely worse that then one induced by alcohol
- Procrastinating is really easy.
- People think too highly of themselves, including yourself.
- People take themselves too seriously and don’t take real issues seriously enough.
- The plural of platypus is platipii.
- You can get a paper cut from a piece of cardboard. The pain is directly proportional to the thickness of the paper.
- Fried dumplings taste better than steamed dumplings.
- Ignorance is bliss
- Math is awesome
- Books are cool
- Making fun of your friends who are colorblind is wrong, yet amusing.
- Dogs are good people
- I should have been an architect. Maybe next time.
- You set unrealistic expectations on yourself and then get upset at me when you fail to reach the expectations. You should get that checked.
- Winston Churchill is a quotable man, and how!
- A proper Englishman does not consider himself European.
- I think you are a half-Windsor kind of guy.
- You mumble – enunciate.
- You need to get more hours of sleep per week.
- There are people in the subway who are trying to kill you – avoid those people whenever possible.
- Do not forget to put on deodorant, the consequences could be dire.
- Underpants: better to have too many than too few.
- 4! is not a super excited 4, but rather (4 x 3 x 2 x 1 = 24)
- The number 2 is the only even prime number.
- Mind the gap.
- Look both ways when crossing the street. You have been close to death too many times to be able to afford to disregard this one.
- There are too many "to's" in the previous sentence.
- Turkeys, geese and peacocks will fight back.